The GString Fighters
by Straya
Summary: G Gundam - Domon, Argo and George are about to get married, only to be hauled off to a strip club bachelor party by Sai and Chibodee! Can the Shuffle survive the ordeal? *Humor fic - NOW COMPLETE!* (Some Spoilers)
1. G String Fighters, Part 1

_Disclaimer: G Gundam and all related characters are copyright Bandai, Sotsu Agency, TV Asahi and Sunrise. _

Authors Note: This fic gets sort of OOC at some points, exaggerating some characters' behavior here and there for comedic affect. This is not meant to offend anyone, and is just in good fun. And despite the title, there are no sex scenes or even total nudity. Just don't expect me to spare anyone in this story much dignity, even George de Sand! However, you CAN expect cheesey dialog, fair amounts of property damage and plenty of jokes at the expenses of our favorite Fighters. ^^;; 

**"G-String Fighters"**

The red haired fencer sat in silence on the old couch, dressed in black kaki pants and a blue button down shirt. His hands folded in his lap, he idly tilted one wrist a bit to check the time on his gold Rolex. 

"It's been over an hour," he commented dryly as he shifted his gaze to the man on the other side of couch. 

Argo Gulskii glanced back at George, dressed in blue jeans and a black polo shirt. "How much longer do you wager it will be?" 

As a loud crash sounded from the room next door, the dining room, George sighed. "I would rather bet on whether or not we will have to drive them to the hospital." 

At that moment, a blur came tearing out of the dining room and rushed up the stairs. Chibodee and Sai came dashing out after it, both in casual clothes, and hollering in irritation. 

"C'mon, Japanese!" the Neo-American called after what had apparently been the fleeing form of Domon Kasshu, "you only live once!" 

A door slammed inside the bedroom as they got upstairs, telling them that Domon was seeking refuge in the closet. 

"Looks like we'll have to get him out of the closet, now," Sai said, smirking mischieviously. 

Chibodee laughed as they went in after their comrade. "Yep, and now we get the added bonus of making out of the closet jokes for the rest of the night!" 

"All the more reason to take big bro to the strip club!" 

"Yep!" 

The pair started to work on getting the door open. Downstairs, Argo sighed and George resisted the urge to bang his head against the nearby coffee table. 

"Remind me again, mon ami, how did we let them drag us into this?" the Neo-Frenchman questioned with an exasperated sigh. 

"Blackmail," Argo responded. "I doubt you wished the Princess or any of the other women know that you were hit on by a drunkard last month at that bar we all went to. ...I'm surprised he did not lose more than a few teeth." 

George growled in irritation, blushing slightly as he recalled the incident. "One hit deserves another........." 

"And then, of course, the incident involving Domon and the...ahem, undergarments," the former space pirate went on. 

"Everyone already knows about that." 

"It was my understanding that Domon is going just on a deal that we won't talk about it, anymore, especially in front of Rain." 

George smirked a little as he met his companion's gaze, and they both recited the same line at the same time. "'Sailor Shining Finger'!" 

"I guess Domon's given the whole strip club idea second thoughts, at this point. So what dirt did they dig up on you to force you into this, or can you say?" the fencer inquired. 

"Nothing... Chalk it up to the chaos theory." 

"How... reassuring." George exhaled, idly blowing the thick lock of hair that always hung down over his forehead in order to get it out of his face a bit. 

Upstairs, Chibodee had started to scream profanities at the locked closet. The pair in the living room glanced at one another, and began to count backwards from five. 

"Five... four... three... two... one..." 

"CYCLONE PUNCH!" 

The sound of wood shattering followed, and was then accompanied by yet more profanity, both in English and in Japanese. A moment later, both Chibodee and Sai were tromping down the stairs, a very angry Neo-Japanese fighter suspended between them by his upheld arms and legs. 

"We got 'im!" the Neo-American announced triumphantly. "Let's get him into the car while we still can!" 

"Tsk, tsk," George commented as they all left the house, "you're getting slow in your old age, Domon." 

"Urusai, George!" Domon screamed at him, but the Neo-Frenchman merely shrugged and allowed himself to show a thin smile. He had been holding a faint hope that they wouldn't be able to catch Domon and the whole outting would have to be cancelled, but that was a moot point, now. 

The group managed to clamber into a limo parked outside, Chibodee ordering the driver to leave as soon as the last door was shut. The devious duo continued to hold onto their captive, even then, keeping him between them in the wider of the two seats. 

"So, excited to be joining us, eh, Sai?" Chibodee asked his younger friend, who nodded vigorously. "Good thing you just had your 18th birthday! Puts you just over the limit for party, tonight!" 

"I would have preferred a quiet wedding in some small French town to this, Chibodee," George informed him. "Fah, I should have never told you of my wedding plans with Maria." 

"Don't be such a stick in the mud! This is a Bachelor Party, not a tea party!" the other shot back. 

"Yeah, bro... Loosen up! After all, you only live once, and once you get married, going to places like this will be off limits," Sai reminded with a wink. 

"All I know is that if I ever hear either of you mention that...incident again," Domon warned, suddenly speaking up for the first time since they had departed, "I'll put you both in the hospital for a week!" 

"Ooh, temper, temper!" Sai smirked as he managed to ruffle the God Gundam pilot's ever-unkempt hair with his free hand. "You just need something to drink to relax, and then you'll have some fun." 

"More like a sedative," Argo muttered to himself. 

By the time they reached the club, the sun had set and the night crowd was out in full force. Chibodee ordered the driver to come back for them in a few hours, and then led his half unwilling crew up to the main entrance where all their IDs were scanned by a rather unpleasent looking gentleman who was big enough to look Argo in the eye. Once inside, they found themselves in a dimly lit bar which gave away to a large open floor space littered with several tables and chairs. The place was already pretty full, and Domon and George found themselves resisting the urge to start throwing punches just so they could get some breathing room. Argo, head and shoulders above the others, didn't seem too bothered by the thick crowd. 

"Now, we need a table to ourselves..." Chibodee said thoughtfully over all the noise, glancing about. 

"One near the back would be just-" George began, but the Neo-American was already heading for a vacant one down front. "Merde." 

Domon glanced at the fencer, the pair pausing a moment before going along with Argo and Sai. "Later... You hold, I'll punch." 

"Only if we get to trade out every two minutes." 

"Deal." 

Once seated, their "leader" for the evening summoned a scantily dressed waitress to the table. A long haired brunette with blue eyes, wearing an all black, leather outfit. She smiled at the lot of them, eying Domon a moment before noting Chibodee's tall order, as he was tossing out several drink names, half of which the rest of them had never even heard of. 

"And that's for starters, hmm?" she asked, leaning down a bit to put a few cocktail napkins on the table, right next to Domon. 

The Neo-Japanese fighter suddenly found himself staring into her cleavage. His heart shot up into his throat and his face flushed red. 

"My name's Tigeress, and I'll be serving your table for the rest of the night," she said, winking at Domon before standing up to leave. "Let me know if you need anything... anything at all." 

"Sai..." Argo glanced at the youngest member of their group, a look of disapproval on his face. "...quit drooling on the table!" 

"He can't even handle the waitress!" George growled, glancing from Sai to Domon. "He will surely have a heart attack once the show-.... Domon, are you bleeding out your nose?" 

Domon glanced down at the table before him to see several drops of blood there. "KUSO!" 

He was gone in a split second, hurrying for the men's restroom. Chibodee burst into fits of laughter, slapping Sai on the back, but the Neo-Chinese fighter was too busy staring at all the waitresses in awe. 

"This is going to be a long night, and I think I may drink heavily so as to have forgotten it all after I pass out," George said with disgust. "Argo, if I hit the floor, please drag my carcass out of this filthy place." 

"I dunno, Frenchie, maybe you'd better keep your wits about you in a place like this," Chibodee snickered. "Don't want someone taking you for something you're not, especially when most of the people around here like to be grabby!" 

Argo suddenly found himself trying to restrain George, who had nearly lunged across the table to get at his fellow fighter. 

"You PIG! I'll put your head through this table!" 

"Oh, hush," Chibodee snorted as the lights dimmed even further around them and a few spotlights hit the stage. "The show's about to start!" 

An announcer's voice came over the PA in the main room, booming through the speakers and causing the noise to die down a little. Domon came back over and sat down again, not looking all that well. 

"Welcome to the Kitten Club! Tonight we've got a very special show going on for some VIP guests - The Shuffle Alliance! Let's welcome our group of Mobile Fighter girls to the stage!" 

Domon's jaw dropped. George twitched. Argo shook his head, frowning. 

"CHIBODEE!" 

"What? It got us a special show, didn't it?" the Neo-American responded with a nonchalant shrug. "You guys are way too uptight sometimes..." 

"Do you have any idea what this is going to do to our reputation!?" George demanded, and Argo had to grab a hold of him a second time to hold him back. 

"Chibodee, how could you even THINK to do something like this?" Argo questioned, his voice low and rather grating. 

"Hey, hey, just wait until you see the lovely ladies they lined up for us, eh?" Chibodee replied, still undaunted by the apparent fury of his fellow Shuffle members. 

"I'm STILL going to give you a pounding for this later," Domon growled, even as the girls began to emerge on stage. 

Five women, one after another, stepped out onto the stage, all of them dressed in colors and clothing styles that suggested various mobile fighters from the 13th Tournament... All of the Shuffle gundams. They were even wearing V-fin headbands and carrying replica weapons. Sai about fell out of his chair in trying to lean too far towards the stage as the Dragon Gundam girl bent down to blow him a kiss. And before anyone could stop him, Chibodee was waving for them to come down off the stage 

"Chibodee, this isn't funny!" George managed to stammer out as the Gundam Rose girl placed a wreath of roses around his neck and tried to sit in his lap. 

"Settle down, Frenchie," Chibodee snickered as he pulled Gundam Maxter girl into his lap and slipped a few ones into her V-fin headband. "Heya... Think you could show me your Burning Punch later, eh?" 

"M...miss..." Domon was trying to get out as the Shining Gundam girl ran one silver gloved hand up his arm. "Could...could you please get your *ahem* Shining Fingers off me?!" 

"Oh, come on, sweetie," she cooed at him with a sly smile, "it's just a little harmless fun!" 

Argo was trying to remain stonefaced as the Bolt Gundam girl edged around him, the chain of her replica Graviton Hammer wrapped about her arms. 

Sai, however, was now sitting IN the Dragon Gundam girl's lap while toying with the "Dragon Tail" piece that was tied into her hair piece. 

"You've got REALLY pretty eyes," the Rose girl was telling George, who was trying to lean back in his chair as far as possible to escape the goddess before him. She had some gorgeous green eyes, herself, but he was trying to ignore that....as well as the cold sweat he'd broken out into. 

"M...mademoiselle! Please...I....I...." 

"Ooooh, you're _really_ French, aren't you! How SEXY..." She leaned farther towards him, brushing a red rose up against the side of his face. 

George pushed back again, and fell clean out of his chair. "MERDE!" 

"HAHA! Way to go, George," Chibodee laughed, but he was soon distracted by the Maxter girl, who was starting to remove her "chest plate." 

A second crash told them that Domon had also toppled out of his chair. "Excuse me... I... I need to run to the restroom, again!" 

"Aww, I think he got a nosebleed!" the Shining girl laughed a little as she watched him run off. "The shy ones are always so cute!" 

"How about you, big guy?" the Bolt girl asked Argo, who was trying not to look at anything but her face. "You look like the real hard to crack type, but I like tough guys....." 

"Miss," he said suddenly, "are you sure you're satisfied with your line of work?" 

"I beg your pardon?" she said, not sure she'd heard him right. 

After two more runs to the bathroom for Domon, about a dozen drinks later, and not long after George had nearly fainted, the VIP show was finally over and all the mobile fighter girls returned to the back, save for the Bolt girl, who wandered off with Argo to a secluded corner. 

"Big bro's got the idea," Sai snickered, watching them leave. "Why can't you two loosen up a little like him?" 

"Yeah, and have some more to drink!" Chibodee encouraged, finishing off his third. 

"God forbid, Chibodee, I think Argo wanted to TALK to the girl, not help her remove what clothes she DID have on," Domon informed the Neo-American, who laughed. 

"Mon dieu, I think I have a fever," George muttered, lifting his glass to his forehead to try and cool off a bit. 

"Pfft, you and your poor virgin eyes, snobby," Chibodee teased with a smirk. 

"Oh, that does it!" the Frenchman finally snorted as he got to his feet. "I'm going to the bar for a while!" 

"Good, and tell them to bring me another Jack and Coke while you're at it!" the Queen of Spades called after him, which rewarded him with an irritated shout of "PIG!" from the Jack of Diamonds. 

Domon took the rest of his drink in one swig and got up. 

"Bathroom again, bro?" Sai asked, grinning like a Chesire Cat. 

"So noisy!" the Neo-Japanese fighter snarled as he left the table. 

"Bah, they're irritated now, but they'll look back on this next year and laugh!" Chibodee said as he grabbed a passing waitress and pulled her into his lap. "Hey, sweetheart.... Can you fix me up something special for a big tip?" 

"Sure thing, stud. What'll it be?" 

"Long Island with some extra punch, and give it wings!" 

As the waitress sauntered off to fetch his order, Chibodee noticed that Sai had vanished. Figuring the kid was chasing another waitress, the Queen of Spades turned his attention back to the stage as a trio of blonde haired pole dancers came out. 

Meanwhile, Domon staggered into the men's room again and over to the far urinal to relieve himself. His temples were pounding. Just what the hell had been in those drinks? He didn't think he was that easy to knock over. Zipping up his pants, he turned to head for the sink...only to find someone in a brown trench coat, black boots, and a red and yellow mask standing in his way. 

Domon choked. 

"SCHWARZ BRUDER?!" 

_Is it really Schwarz Bruder that has Domon cornered in the men's room? What happened to Sai Sici?? Just how drunk can Chibodee get before something goes horribly (and hilariously) wrong!? We'll find out, next time around! ;)_

_The author would like extend special thanks to retired fan fic writer Kat Dickerson, for granting permission on the "Sailor Shining Finger" homage. The gag was originally part of her G fic, "The G Crew Goes GAMBLIN'!" which has since been removed from this site. But even in her absence, we G fans still have to poke fun at these guys. Hey, one can never embarass Domon too much._ ^_~ 


	2. G String Fighters, Part 2

_Standard Disclaimer: G Gundam and all related characters are copyright Bandai, Sotsu Agency, TV Asahi and Sunrise. (Although I wouldn't mind owning George...rowr.) _

Authors Note: Just like part one, expect more semi-OOC'ness and plenty of insanity! This fic is meant to be humorous, and not to offend anyone. So sit back and enjoy the massive amounts of craziness and property damage. ^^;; 

**"G-String Fighters"  
(Part 2!)**

"Domon," said the 'German Ninja' in disapproval, "and here you let dear Rain think you were going bowling!" 

The King of Hearts slapped himself across the face, but Schwarz remained. Oh Lord. He was far more drunk than he'd imagined. 

"You... you can't possibly be here!" Domon stammered, absolutely dumbfounded. In his somewhat plastered stupor, he was having a difficult time thinking clearly, but he definitely remembered his brother's shadow dying. 

"Oh, but I am, Domon," the other went on, shaking one gloved finger at him. "And you've been very naughty. What would Rain think if she knew you were here? And that you lied to her? For shame." 

The 13th Fight champion tried to steady himself as he searched for his wits and came up blank. Something was wrong here, and it wasn't just that a dead man was lecturing him in the flithy bathroom of a strip joint. Schwarz somehow seemed... shorter? Or no? It was hard to tell, since the room kept tipping about ever so slightly. Maybe it was the voice? Too high? Then again, Domon's ears had been filled with noise ever since setting foot in that God forsaken building. It was hard to tell. He stared at the "ghost" before him, even as the "Wild Card" continued to repremand him for sneaking out. 

In the meantime, the Club Ace was venturing where no customers were supposed to go. Sai Sici snuck as steathily as he was able down a backhall in the club, hunting for the dressing rooms and a few choice sneak peaks. He was especially interested in finding the girl that had played the Dragon Gundam dancer. Somehwere in the back of his tipsy mind, he knew Cecil would be furious at him if she knew, but with the alcohol in his system and his hormones raging, he was going to take the opportunities as they came! 

"Did you see that VIP group out front, Jessica?" 

"Those Gundam Fight guys?" 

"Yeah. They all ended up totally hammered, but at least they tip well!" 

Sai paused as he heard voices and footsteps coming his way down the hall. Glancing around, he tried to find a shadow to duck into, but as he turned, he slammed face first into a maintaince ladder that was leaning up against the wall and caused it to fall to the floor with a loud, unnerving clatter. Panicking, he turned and ran through the nearest open door. He pulled it shut behind him, post haste, and found himself in a vacant dressing room. 

"That was close," he breathed, smirking a little at how quickly he'd managed to evade trouble. Jinx. 

The door opened even as he released the handle, and he found himself staring directly into the face of the Dragon Gundam girl. 

Sai tried to put on the sweetest, most innocent smile he could come up with. "Uh, hi?" 

Out in the main room, Argo was still sitting in the corner booth alongside the Bolt Gundam girl, who was listening in fascination as he talked about his time as a Space Pirate, and then as the Neo-Russian representative. 

"So did your men go free even though you didn't win the tournament, Mr. Gulskii?" 

"Oh yes," Argo responded, nodding a bit. "The government could not deny me that much after I had helped my fellow Shuffle Delegates defeat the Devil Gundam." 

"You've led such an interesting life, and you're not even at the half way point, yet!" she exclaimed with admiration. "Maybe it wasn't all a bed of roses, but it still sounds so much better than working a job like this." 

"Well, I did tell you all of that because it did seem like you weren't happy here. You could always change jobs and find something that is more fulfilling." 

The Bolt girl sighed, twisting a length of her hair around one finger. "My mother always said I should go to college, but I was young and stupid. If I could go back and do it again, I'd try to get my degree in something history related. I've always loved the subject." 

"So why don't you?" Argo questioned. 

She seemed to think about that a moment. "I don't think I could afford to quit my job right now. And college is so expensive..." 

"Ah, so you get another part time job and go to a local college." 

"I suppose I could..." 

Back in the men's room, Schwarz was dunking Domon's head into a sink full of cold water, repeatedly. "Come on! Sober up!" 

"KUSO!" The King of Hearts tried to fight back against the frigid, wet punishment, but his movements were a little clumsy compared to his opponent's at the moment. "I came out here because of blackmail, I told you!" 

"Oh, everyone knows about the magical girl undies, Domon!" 

There was a hint of an underlying giggle there, but Domon didn't have time to question it as his face was shoved underwater again. Schwarz pulled him upright finally, watching as his victim sputtered and gasped, absolutely mortified and even furious. 

"So, are you ever going to do something like this again, oh mighty King of Hearts?" 

"I already told you I never would!" the God Gundam pilot snarled, trying to take a swing at the German Ninja. "And I told you I loved Rain! Does that please you, you spying ghost!?" 

"Just what I wanted to hear!" the other laughed as the swing missed and Domon staggered past and hit his head on the side of a toilet stall. 

Groaning a bit, the younger Kasshu tured to see that his tormentor had vanished completely. He glanced around, disturbed and frustrated, his head pounding even worse than it had been in the first place. Had he hallucinated that whole incident? Leaving the bathroom, he tried to make his way back out to the bar...just in time to run head on into Chibodee. 

"'Ey, Japahnese," the Neo-American slurred, absolutely reaking of alcohol. "How many more times're ya gonna take a piss before night's over, eh?" 

"Urusai, Chibodee! I'm not going back in there, again!" Domon growled back. 

"Wha? Didja accidently open a stall on some fat guy on th' can?" 

The King of Hearts seized Chibodee by the collar and shook him about, angrily. "Schwarz Bruder was in the bathroom!" 

The Neo-American sniffed apathetically for a moment. "Did he come outta th' toilet er something?" 

"I'M NOT JOKING!" 

In the back dressing room, Sai stepped away from the door as the Dragon Gundam girl entered the room, smirking. And here he though she'd be upset with him, but no, she was...amused? The Club Ace returned the smile, more confidently this time. 

"Are you lost back here, cutie?" she inquired slyly, looking him up and down. "I remember you from the VIP table. You're the Neo-Chinese fighter...." 

"Not lost, just checking everything out..." Sai looked her up and down, trying to maintain his cool. 

"Is that all?" The dancer leaned forward and kissed him, fully. Sai turned about five shades of red before he fell over backwards, tripping on a trunk full of stage costumes. 

The Dragon Gundam girl followed up by getting all over him, tickling him thoroughly. She'd dealt with guys like this before, and she could tell this was his first time in a club. He had probably just turned 18, or maybe this was even his 18th birthday present as given to him by the other four guys he'd come in with. Oh yes, she'd have some fun with him before she let him get away! Sai burst out laughing, trying to get away from her, but not doing that great of a job. 

"Lucy! Are you in there?! You're due on stage in two minutes!" a masculine voice suddenly called from outside the room as knocking sounded on the door. 

The girl stopped and looked towards the door, paling a bit and lowering her voice. "Oh shit... That's my supervisor!" 

"You aren't going to be late this time! I'm not moving from the door until you get your ass out here!" the voice continued, sounding rather pissed off. 

Sai suddenly went from bright red to pale. "Is there a back way out? Or a vent I can get to?" 

Lucy got off him and pulled open the trunk, rumagging around in it, hurriedly. "No, but he can't catch you in here, either, or you'll get kicked out and I'll lose my job! ...here! Put this on, and be quick!" 

The young woman forced a deep red dress into his hands, and then tossed a pair of high heels and some jewelry on top of that. The Neo-Chinese fighter about passed out on the spot. 

"I CAN'T WEAR THESE!" 

"You owe it to me for sneaking into my dressing room!" 

"But-" 

"LUCY! One minute!" 

Sai's lower lip trembled a little as he looked down at the dress... Then put it down on the trunk and pulled off his shirt.... 

Chibodee was getting tired of Domon's hysterics. What the hell was his problem? Everyone got a little drunk now and then and got a visit from the Toilet Ninja or the Tooth Fairy or Pink Elephants or whatever the hell it was he was babbling on about. The Neo-American couldn't even really remember at this point, but he knew it had something to do with dunking in a latrine? Or was it the sink? Oh well. 

In any case, Domon was now sobbing on the bar, literally, greatly disturbing everyone around him as he wailed about killer gundams, toilet ninjas and whatever else came into his deluded mind. Chibodee finished another beer and glanced around, looking for something else to do other than listening to the King of Hearts whine.... 

George, in the meantime, was bored, disgusted and tired. He sat at the far end of the bar, a simple glass of ginger ale in one hand as he had promised himself that he would be the second most sober fellow out of their group. Argo would obviously be in the best shape, but no more alcohol would get into the knight's system, that was for sure. The Jack of Diamonds sighed and thought back to his wedding plans. Just the thought of Maria Louise in a wedding dress was enough to make him feel a little better, despite all the noise. Someday, he would tell her about this utter disaster of a bachelor party. She would understand that this had all been Chibodee and Sai's faults, and know that her George had done his best to behave honorably while caged in such a horrendous establishment. He nodded to himself, managing a slight smile. Yes, the night would soon be over and he could go home. 

"'Ey, baby!" 

The Neo-Frenchman froze as someone came up next to him, and with no more than that, planted a kiss right on his cheek. Turning a furious shade of red, he whirled to see Chibodee Crocket next to him, drunk as a skunk. 

"YOU..." 

"Oh my god! CHIBODEE JUST KISSED GEORGE!" 

George's eye twitched as Domon's voice reached him; the God Gundam pilot had seen what had just happened from down the way and was now in total shock. 

Chibodee glanced in Domon's direction, and then back at the "lady" next to him, trying to get his vision to focus a bit better. "Eh...?" 

"YOU FILTHY DOG!" George slammed one fist into the side of the other fighter's face, sending him down to the floor. 

Domon was now in hysterics, raving about a German ghost invasion or some such, but the red haired fencer had little time to worry about that as a hand fell on his shoulder from behind. 

"Aw, what'sa matter? Did the little princess not like kissy face?" It was yet another drunkard. One who apparently thought all this was amusing. 

George turned, narrowing his violet eyes as he glared at the slob before him. "What...did you just call me...?" 

"I called you 'princess', princess!" 

Now, while the Neo-Frenchman had just slugged one of his best friends in the jaw for giving him a peck on the cheek, Chibodee was still just that... his friend. This hammered idiot was nothing of the sort, and it seemed to the Crown Prince-to-be that this guy was going out of his way to make life difficult. Therefore, he deserved whatever he got. 

In this case, it was a right hook to the face that sent him FLYING across the bar and crashing into a pile of empty beer bottles. 

"DO NOT EVER ADDRESS THE JACK OF DIAMONDS IN SUCH A MANNER AGAIN, YOU PIECE OF SCUM!" 

"Preach on, man!" he heard Chibodee manage to slur out from the floor. However, that was the last clear thing George heard, as the entire bar suddenly erupted into a free for all fight. 

"You said your name was Eva?" Argo was saying to the Bolt Gundam girl as the sound of shouting reached them from the bar. The Neo-Russian turned to see the battle royale in the middle of the club raging right along and sighed. "Well, it happened sooner than expected." 

"Oh my... I wonder what happened?" the Bolt girl exclaimed, horrified as she watched one fellow get launched across the room by an enraged Frenchman, who was apparently taking on half the bar by himself. 

"Judging from the mess, I would say too much beer got around, and that's about all you need to know. I'll be right back." Argo got up, excusing himself, and left the table. 

Eva watched as the Neo-Russian waded through the mass of people between him and the bar. Granted, she'd seen fights occur before, but this time, it involved Gundam Fighters. Nothing good would come of this... 

Chibodee Crocket managed to get up onto the bar just then and land a kick into a jaw of a drunkard who was trying to follow him. Throwing a few punches into the air, the Neo-American whooped and then took up a sloppy crane stance. 

"Fear my drunk'n monkey technique!" 

"Don't you mean drunken idiot technique, you slob?!" George demanded as he punched a patron in the left eye. 

"Who asked ya, Frenchie?" the other responded before jumping down and pushing two guys out of his way. "Come on, ya loshers! I'll take ya all down at once!" 

Suddenly, Chibodee bumped into something from one side and turned to see a man in a mask standing there. The fellow's fist sailed right into his face, giving him what would surely later become a black eye. Maxter's pilot grunted and fell forward onto his assailant, one hand gripping the brown trenchcoat. But even as Chibodee pulled himself upright again, something seemed out of place. He clenched his hand a little, and found it was gripping something soft. Peering at the trenchcoat, he found he had his hand over what looked like.... 

"GET OFF OF ME!" 

The gloved hand crashed into his chin, sending Chibodee sprawling onto the floor. As the Queen of Spades got up, dazed, he found that the trench coat wearing patron had fled into the crowd. 

"That was him! IT WAS HIM!" Domon seized Chibodee by the collar and dragged him to his feet. 

"Huh? Wha? Who!?" was the best the other could stammer out in confusion. 

"SCHWARZ!" 

"Schwarz don't got boobs, ya boob!" 

The King of Hearts twitched a little. "...what kind of a pervert are you, anyway!?" 

Back at the bar, George took a fist right to the left eye and staggered back, uttering various curses in French. Swinging one leg up and around, he sent one black boot sailing right into his attacker's gut. "You horrid ruffians! GET SOME MORALS!" 

"Not your usual way of teaching others, I'd assume." 

George turned to see Argo behind him, the arm of another patron in his massive fist. The Neo-Russian had just prevented the fellow from hitting the Jack of Diamonds over the head with a broken bottle. 

"And you expect me to do otherwise with these fools!? Mon dieu!" 

The Black Joker eyed the man in his grip, who was shivering in fear. Tossing the unfortunate man aside, Argo glanced down the way where Domon was rattling Chibodee like a rag doll and screaming incoherently. "I think we'd best get out of here, and fast." 

"Agreed, my friend, but where is Sai? As much of a pain as he has been, we cannot very well leave without him!" George knocked out a plastered biker's teeth and shoved him into a few more drunkards before looking for an opening to get out of the fray. 

"YOU COPPED A FEEL ON A GHOST! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG W--" Domon stopped screaming long enough to notice that the lights on the stage had flickered on again. He turned two shades paler as he recognized the pretty young lady in red. "......oh my god! SAI'S IN DRAG!" 

Chibodee hiccuped and glanced over one shoulder, smirking. "Hell, an' me without a camera!" 

At that moment, the camera might have been good to catch the horrified look on George and Argo's faces, as well. The pair of them had just gotten clear of the worst of the fighting, only to see the youngest member of the Shuffle Alliance appear in lady's wear on the stage, his face done up with makeup. His lovely outfit was completed with ruby red high heels and sheer stockings. Sai was struggling in the heels, blushing so much that even with his tan skin, it was easy to see he was terribly embarassed. 

Backstage, Lucy's supervisor watched in disgust. "Shit... These temp girls have got to go. That's the ugliest one, yet!" 

"Has the world gone completely MAD!?" George demanded, tugging on his own *earpulls. 

"Easy, George, or you'll have bald spots before your wedding," Argo warned with a completely serious expression. "Let's just try and get the others out of here before something else goes wrong." 

"FREEZE! POLICE!" 

Chibodee groaned as Domon dropped him at the sight of the cops that had just burst in through the main doors. "Son of a-" 

"Bitch!" George finished in exasperation, getting a surprised look from Argo. 

"Guys, we gotta run... We can't get caught in here now!" Chibodee urged, but Domon punched him in the face. 

"This is all YOUR fault!" the King of Hearts accused, even as two policeman seized him from behind. 

George shut his eyes, one eyebrow twitching slightly as he held out both hands to an officer to be handcuffed. "Nevermind, Domon. I just want to be over and done with this. Even a cell is better than this utter hell hole! Arrest me!" 

The Black Joker sighed heavily as he was also handcuffed, willingly. Sai was soon hauled off stage and out the door with Domon, Chibodee and George, as well. As the Bolt Gundam pilot was lead out after, he glanced back over one shoulder at the chaos they were leaving behind them and managed to catch a glimpse of Eva peering out at him from behind one curtain on the stage. Well, at least she was alright. 

*******

Argo glanced at his watch as the five of them sat in a cell at police headquarters. "Alright. I think the two of you can stop introducing Mr. Crocket to the jail toilet, now." 

Domon and George paused, one on either side of Chibodee, their hands on his arms and shirt collar as they held his already soaking head over an open toilet. The two glanced at one another, then dunked their comrade one more time before yanking him out and dropping him down on his rear by the far wall. Sai sat in the darkest corner of the cell, absolutely traumatized by the fact that he was in jail and dressed like a woman. Fortunately, they had the cell to themselves. 

"I cannot believe this mess!" George growled, sitting down beside Argo. "First the strip club, now jail! Whatever are we going to do?" 

"One of us is going to have to use our free phone call to call the girls, I guess," Chibodee half coughed, looking pretty darn sober after his forced bath. 

"Are you insane?" the Frenchman demanded. "When they find out what we have been up to, we will all be... what is the American phrase? In the...the..." 

"Doghouse," Argo finished. "But at this point, what other choice do we have?" 

"This has all been a nightmare... Why did we ever agree to this!?" Domon almost wailed, still half distraught. 

"...I...I just want to go home!" Sai sobbed in the corner. 

"Alright, alright. Let us just remain calm about this," the Jack of Diamonds suggested, taking a deep breath to clear his head a little. "Think, now... Which of the ladies is least likely to explode if we were to call and ask for bail to be posted?" 

"Eh, call my girls," Chibodee responded with a half smirk. "They're used to me bein' in trouble." 

"It's either them, or Allenby," Argo agreed solemnly. "We cannot have any of our fiances down here, now." 

"Or... Raymond," George sighed, his lower lip trembling slightly. "...but I would hate for him to see me like this..." 

"Pfft, don't be such a sissy," Maxter's pilot grunted, earning him a deadly glare from the other fighter. 

"Why YOU-" 

"No, George!" Argo seized his companion by one arm before he could attack Chibodee. "Remain calm..." 

"When are you going to learn to shut up, Chibodee?" Domon demanded with a growl. "It was you who got us into this mess! It will be a long time before we forgive you for this!" 

"Eh..." Chibodee glanced down at the ground by his feet, shrugging a little. "...yeah, I guess. Tch, me and my bright ideas, eh?" 

The others glared at him, and he sighed. Silence followed, only interrupted time and again by noise outside the cell from the offices, or by a muffled sob from Sai. 

Finally, some four hours after their arrest, an officer approached the cell and unlocked it, clipboard under one arm. 

"You guys are damn lucky tonight. After everything that's happened, your girls still want you back. My own wife wouldn't have been so easy on me if I was in your shoes!" 

The five glanced at one another in confusion. They still hadn't placed a phone call to anyone, yet someone was there to bail them out? But how did they find out, and who was it? The three grooms-to-be looked at one another somewhat nervously. 

"Hey, guys..." 

A young woman appeared in the doorway, waving a little hesistantly. 

Argo stood up, smiling, relief washing over him. "Eva? What are you doing here?" 

Chibodee tilted his head to one side, still confused. "Huh? Isn't that the Bolt girl?" 

Four more girls then appeared behind her. It was the entire Gundam Fighter dance crew, out of costume and dressed in jeans and t-shirts. The Dragon girl had even brought Sai's clothes with her! 

"Lucky, lucky bastards! Come on... Out ya go," the officer urged them, forcing the five out of the cell and down the hallway to the main lobby area. 

"Eva," Argo said as they reached the main room, "What are you doing here? How did you find us?" 

"It's sort of a long story, but after you guys got arrested, we didn't really think we could leave you to the police like that," the Bolt girl explained. 

"Yeah, even though some of you are perverts," Lucy said with a smirk as she handed a grateful Sai his clothes. 

"Yeah, perverts, but y'all tipped us well, and we had a good time," the Maxter girl admitted, smiling. 

"Not to mention how cute some of you are," the Shining Gundam girl added, and Domon pinched his nose almost instinctively. 

"But, how did you know which station to come to, and that we had not already been bailed out?" George questioned. 

"Well, that's sort of the weird part," the Rose girl explained. "We were all backstage when this weird guy in a trenchcoat and mask sort of appeared out of nowhere and told us that if we wanted to find you, to go to the station on 5th and Main." 

"T-trenchcoat and mask?" Domon stammered uneasily, one eye twitching. The rest of the Shuffle exchanged confused glances. However, as crazy as things had been, they weren't about to question it, now. That particular little mystery could wait until later when they were all thinking straight, again. 

"Yeah, so we got together all our earnings for the night, along with some of the money we'd saved up, and came down here," Eva went on. 

"Mademoiselles, you really should not have gone through such lengths for the likes of us. We could have merely called one of our fiances--" George began, but the Rose girl cut him off. 

"Fiances? Oh no! Don't you think they would have been angry with you?" 

"So that's what this was, a bachelor party?" the Dragon girl laughed. "You poor babies!" 

"Unfortunately, yes," Argo replied with a nod. 

"Well, it's all said and done with," the Maxter girl chuckled with a shrug. "Anyway, we all talked it over on the way over, and you boys can go to Eva's apartment and get cleaned up before going home. Can't see your fiances again like that, huh?" 

"Domo arigato," the King of Hearts managed to get out, a smile crossing his face for the first time all night. 

"Oui, merci beaucoup," George agreed, bowing slightly to the Rose girl, who blushed and couldn't help but hold one hand out to the Neo-French fighter. The Jack of Diamonds took her hand in his and kissed it out of gratitude, and she giggled. "I will make sure you all are compensated for this, even though all the money my family can offer you could never fully express our gratitude." 

"Hey, don't worry about it too much, honey," the Rose girl chuckled, blushing. "Just pay us back and invite us to the wedding, and we'll call it even!" 

"That shouldn't be a problem," Argo assured them, a smile crossing his face. "We would be honored to have you five there." 

"Alright, let's get going, then!" Eva urged, and the group left the station and made their way out to the girls' cars, parked alongside the sidewalk. 

*******

Back at the hotel where the non-American fighters had been staying with their fiances and companions, Rain, Maria Louise, Nastasha and Chibodee's crew sat in the suite where the French princess was staying, drinking coffee and discussing wedding plans. They had all come to the conclusion that it would be best to hold all three weddings at once; it was just a matter of deciding where to hold them. They had already determined that Chibodee had probably invited them all out to New York for some devious pre-marriage deal, but they were trying to think of something other than the Queen of Spade's insane schemes. 

Just as Rain got up to get more coffee for the group, a knock sounded on the suite door. Walking over, she opened it to see a figure in a trenchcoat and multicolored mask on the other side. She blinked for a moment, then smirked, allowing the fellow to step inside. 

"So, how was your night, Schwarz?" the mechanic inquired as the other ladies looked over almost expectantly. 

"Oh, lovely, lady Mikamura!" the German ninja declared. 

"Let me guess... Chibodee got them in trouble, didn't he?" Shirely asked, quirking one eyebrow. 

"Oh, of course. They all ended up in jail, but I managed to get them out," the ninja replied smugly. "I doubt they'll be pulling anything like that for a long time! Oh, and don't worry... Domon, George and Argo were good boys." 

"We really do not know how to thank you," Maria Louise said, smiling a bit. 

"Yes, especially since... Well, you know..." Rain added, almost a little uncomfortably. 

"Nothing to worry about Rain. I can't say I'm not jealous, but you and Domon are so meant for each other. I'm just happy that everything worked out." Schwarz reached up and pulled off the mask, revealing a young, pretty face framed by short, greenish hair. "You just call me if the guys ever get out of line again!" 

"Will do, Allenby. Will do." Rain winked, and handed her a mug of coffee. 

Allenby offered a winning smile and held up her mug. "Here's to all our futures, then!" 

They clinked the ceramic cups together in a toast, and the others at the table followed their lead. It would be interesting to see what kind of story the guys would come up with in the morning, trying to explain where they had been, but at least one thing was for certain... Never a dull moment when it came to dealing with their Shuffle Alliance. 

* * *

* "Earpulls" is the term my friends and I use to refer to the long hair that hangs down in front of the ears on a character, such as those on George de Sand. 

_Special thanks to Kat Dickerson, again, for allowing the use of the "Sailor Shining Finger!" joke, and also to Spork Goddess, Heero_Yuy84 and my own Domon for helping me to come with ideas and for reviewing this insane fic. Hopefully, you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now, go read more G fics! SORE DE WA, GUNDAM FIGHT! READY?? GO!!_ ^_~ 


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